Over the next half hour the same scene repeated itself five more times. The door to the office would open and out would walk a guy shaking his head and a new name would be called. It was 4:45pm when the last guy exited saying as he walked past me, â Good luck pal, I donât know what this is all about or what they are looking for but maybe youâll have more luck.â The office door opened and the receptionist said, âWell, I suppose your Mr. Seaman. Thatâs funny, she said. Do you get kidded about your name?â âAll the time,â I said. âMust be a real problem,â she replied. âOnly if your me,â I said. She giggled. I was shown to an office and introduced to Mr. Whitley, Esq.
âMr. Seaman, nice to meet you,â said Whitley. I sat in the leather chair in front of his desk. âLet me get right to the point. You have responded to an ad offering to let a room in a four bedroom condominium, have you not?â âYes,â I responded. âGood, very good! I must ascertain that you have responded to this ad of your own free will. Your interest in responding to this ad was to share in the rent of a four bedroom condominium near or about the vicinity of downtown San Francisco is that correct?â âYes, it is,â I responded. âGood, well thenâ¦
Tell me about yourself, Mr. Seaman,â Whitley asked? âWell, I am 27 years old. I majored in Art History when I attended Colombia University and then later received a MBA from the same school. I originally grew up in Vermont but after college and my first job I moved here from New York to run an art gallery near Pier 39 for the company I was employed with in New York. While I could afford my own condo, since I do make a reasonable salary, I really prefer living with other people. It is more fun meeting people and it isnât as lonely. Particularly, if you are new to a city. I guess you could say Iâm a sociable person.â
âAre you dating anyone, he asked? I am assuming you are not married.â âNo, not married and not dating right now,â I replied.
âGood. Let me ask you Mr. Seaman have you ever shared an apartment before?â âYes, when I lived in New York,â I said.
âThat is fine, Whitley said. I am sure that you will be able to provide references if request?â âSure,â I said.
Then he leaned back in his chair and looked over some papers he held in his hands. âHave you ever been arrested, Mr. Seaman?â âNo, I havenât,â I responded. âI can very easily check on that, Mr. Seaman,â Whitley replied. âNo, no arrests,â I repeated. âGood.â
Then he hesitated before proceeding. âDo you like women, Mr. Seaman, sexually I mean,â he asked? âWhat,â I asked? âIt is a simple question, Mr. Seaman. I am interested to know if you sexual preference is for woman,â Whitley repeated? Giving him a questioning stare, I responded, âYes, I like womanâ¦sexually.â âThat is fine,â he said. âMr. Seaman, do you wear pajamas or other items when you retire to bed,â he asked? âMr. Whitley, I donât want to seem uncooperative but what does this have to do with renting an apartment?â I asked. âPlease, Mr. Seaman I am a very busy man. I have been required by my client to ask these questions. Your cooperation is needed to speed up this process. I know the questions seem ratherâ¦. personal but I assure you they are very important to the selection process. Might you please just confine yourself to responding to the questions asked? If you are selected there will be plenty of time for YOUR questions.â
I set aside my curiosity and feeling of intrusion for the time and answered the questions. âWell, I said it depends on the situation but generally I donât, if you must know.â âYes, Mr. Seaman Iâ¦must know. Now, where was I? Yes, are you willing to share equally in the work required to keep the condo clean, stocked and in good condition?â âOf course, isnât that assumed,â I asked? âYou would be surprised, Mr. Seaman what some people think are their responsibilities when they are involved in a multi-tenant situation.
âWould you feel put upon if you were required to take care of cleaning and shopping for the condo if it was requested of you,â Mr. Whitley asked? âI suppose I could do that if it was needed,â I said. âSo long as others were helping in other ways.â âVery good. It is nice to hear that you are flexible.
âWell, Mr. Seaman let me explain that you will be evaluated by my client for your suitability as a roommate along with the other candidates. Let me tell you that you are the leading candidate from my own perspective but you never know what clients will do. I will be recommending yourself and two other candidates to the client and it will be there decision to select from the three candidates.â
âWhen might I know,â I asked? âI should say that you would be contacted on Tuesday of next week if you are acceptable to the client. You will receive a phone call by the end of the business day. Please leave the best number to reach you with my secretary prior to leaving. Also, would you leave references regarding your prior rentals in New York?â âFine,â I said.
âThere is one more important thing, Mr. Seaman.â âYes,â I said wondering why this simple search for a condo had turned into such a cloak and dagger affair. âIf you are contacted on Tuesday, you must be available for a follow up interview with the client on Wednesday at 5pm sharp. Will that present a problem,â he asked? âWell, I had planned to meet with one of our exhibiting artists for dinner that evening.â âIâm afraid that this is essential. If you are not available, please let me know now so we can eliminate you from consideration for the condo.
Also, you will be required to pay $100 as evidence of serious consideration on your part. If you are not selected the deposit will be returned or after the Wednesday meeting you choose not to go forward the $100 will be kept by me for services rendered.â
âMan, I didnât get this much pressure even during job interviews. I guess I could rearrange some things, I said. And I suppose if it is only $100 then I can live with that but this is more that I have had to do for ANY apartment even in New York.â âMr. Seaman, I am sure you will agree that if you are finally approved this meeting may well change your life,â said Whitley.
Change my life; I thought it was only a damn apartment. I left my references and phone number with the receptionist on the way out, who also wanted a photograph of me. I told her I didnât have one so she snapped a shot with a digital camera. âItâs for the records,â she said. âYou guys are sure thorough for just a apartment,â I said under my breath. âWhy Mr. Seaman, didnât you know itâs so much more than just an apartment.â
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